You probably remember the song "Jesus Loves Me". Well, a line from that song came to mind tonight: "I am weak but He is strong."
Some days, more than others, I realize how weak I really am. These are days that I focus on my weakness... pouting, getting frustrated, and whining to everyone (wife, friends, and of course God) about my weaknesses. Other days, I realize how strong God is. These are days that I focus on Him... praising God for his power, strength, and promise. The problem is, I'm not always good at noticing both at the same time, (I've been told I have a one-track mind) or I have the wrong attitude. I like to praise God, but unfortunately it's followed up w/ a comment like, "Well God, you did great... but wasn't I pretty good, too. I mean, did you see me? I was pretty awesome. I appreciate you taking care of A, B, and C... but check out what I did on D, C, and E." The problem here is that I'm not recognizing my TOTAL need for God. Going further, are the days I cry about my weaknesses. I get so caught up in the "woe is me" that I forget about God completely. I put God outside the ropes like a tag team and call Him in when needed. He stands there watching as I get myself in to big trouble. (I was going to try and reference the awesome movie Nacho Libre, but I can't picture Jesus as Esqueleto... or me as Jack Black for that matter. sorry, moving on...)
Today I struggled w/ some things and was getting upset that I couldn't control them. It wasn't until dinner time that I finally gave up and "tagged" God to jump in and take my place. Jennifer and I had a great opportunity dumped on us tonight: we were given money to go eat w/ her brother Chris and his girlfriend Lori at Szechuan. This was great b/c... 1 = we love Szechuan... but 2 = b/c we had a chance to build some relationships and invite them to church. As easy as it seems to say, "hey, you should come to church with us tomorrow", I have a very hard time doing this. I'm learning that it's hard b/c I'm depending on myself. This is where the "tag" comes in. I surrendered to the Holy Spirit and let him give me the courage. The words flowed out just fine and were received well. I was expecting an immediate excuse as the reply, but instead, it was followed w/ a semi-interested "well, that's early, but we'll call you and see if we can make it." It may seem like a small thing, but none-the-less, it was recognized and God was given all the glory. They may or may not come tomorrow, but that is out of my hands. I was obedient in inviting them, so now I'm trusting in the Holy Spirit to use that in some way.
I spent some time worshiping tonight (and practicing for tomorrow morning's service) and I really sensed the holy spirit filling me up. I felt like an empty gas tank. A peace fell over me as I headed to bed and I began singing the tune to "Jesus Loves Me" again.
This situation also reminded me of Kevin's sermons thru the Beatitudes..."blessed are those who mourn, the meek...they will be comforted, filled". We need to recognize our weakness, but not stay there; look to the Lord for strength; praise Him who is God.
I pray that tomorrow will be a beautiful time of worship... confessing our sins, recognizing our weaknesses, and praising God for His power and majesty.
Jesus loves me! This I know,
For the Bible tells me so;
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.
